Pages

Thursday, October 11, 2007

season's change...

I’m coming to the end of my second year in Uganda, and as all of you know, it’s been full of joy, sorrow, frustration, growth and discovery. I have discovered so much about the world, about Africa, about God, about friendship, about life and about death, and about me. Every moment of my time here has been full and it seems that every minute I have been learning.

I'm heading home in 2 weeks. I can't believe it. I'm prepping myself for the end of my time here in Uganda. In a word, I'm heartbroken. I actually don’t know for sure if my time here in Uganda is over, but I need to prepare as it is a likely possibility. I’m leaving on good terms, but for me personally I'll leave with a broken heart. It’s been a long year of tiresome endless work to get a title for the land that we are purchasing in Northern Uganda. Thank you for all of you who have faithfully supported us in prayer. This land will be the permanent home for Restore Academy, and we are just around the corner from reaching that monumental goal. While Restore has decided not to send me back unless we attain the land title, everything Restore is doing now will continue to be pursued by a new volunteer who came to Uganda about a month ago. He is an amazing young man and I have full confidence that he will do an extra-ordinary job here in Uganda, and that each kid that passes through Restore Academy will know that they are loved. In the end what is most important to me is that the vision of restoring hope and life to youth is implemented here in Uganda. It is the kids I care most about and adore with all my heart, so it does not matter if it’s me or someone else implementing the vision as long as it’s carried out.

Last year I wrote to all of you that I am up for anything, ready to “let go in reckless confidence all that frightens me with the uncertainty of tomorrow” (Brennan Manning). A year later and I still haven’t quite figured out this reckless confidence thing but I have learned a lot about letting go and I’m pretty sure God is teaching me how to have reckless confidence in Him. I’m still up for anything, even if it means being broken hearted for a time. A friend shared a compelling quote with me recently, it says “…our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways and truer answers...”. And so, I'm just trying to keep smiling and not grow bitter by my brokenness, but rather keep loving people no matter what. I’m trying to trust God and finish the work God has given me for this season of my life faithfully. I feel more gratitude than words can express to have been able to be here at all, and am doing my best to embrace the changing seasons of life with grace and integrity, knowing that nothing is certain in this life except God Himself.

No comments: